Wednesday, July 3, 2013


My friends at Proverbs 31 posted this on Facebook today, and it was just what I needed to see:

Philippians 4:5b-6 says, “The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”    

There have been so many things going on in my life (and yours too, I'm sure) lately that are really out of my control, no matter how much I try to be in control.  Obviously, the adoption but also a couple of other things that I won't go into detail about as they involve other people's personal stories.  The last four words there should really be an indication that these things are not mine to fix, but I think we all want to help the ones we love whenever possible.  Needless to say, my anxiety level has been inching toward the roof day by day.  I thought I would share some things I've been doing to try and keep things in check:
  • I make lists
  • I Google
  • I schedule
  • I talk to friends
  • I read how-to and self-help books
  • I read and post to message boards
  • I sleep
  • I clean (obviously that will fix all of the World's problems)
  • I complain
  • I cry sometimes
  • I get mad
  • I take it out on my husband (not on purpose, of course - Sorry Nate!)
  • And when all else fails I shop compulsively and I eat (which both actually go against two big goals - saving for the adoption and losing weight (down 30 pounds so far!)) 

Looking at that list makes me feel like I get myself all busy doing things that can't actually resolve any of the what is weighing me down, which is just silly when I remember how much I'm realizing that the Lord really does have a plan and a reason for everything.  If I could learn to really cast my worries to Him, I believe my heart and my mind would be so much more at peace.

To veer slightly off topic, Independence Day has always been my favorite holiday.  Being blessed spoiled enough to live near several beautiful lakes growing up, the 4th has always meant family gatherings, sunshine, swimming, jet-skiing, good food and beautiful fireworks displays.  For several reasons, the past few 4th of Julys have not been my favorite.  I've let other people and situations become my priority and take away from the things I truly enjoy.  This is no one's fault except my own, honestly.  As we make the trip to my home town tonight, Nate and I have decided to relax.  I'm sending my worries Up and hoping for the best. 


  1. Your list looks almost exactly like mine does in stressful situations, lol! Ultimately, I'm so glad God knows what He's doing, and that I'm not in charge of life ;)

  2. Katie, it is so encouraging to watch you go through this process! Try to enjoy your summer!

  3. I stumbled across your blog today – and know all too well the emotional roller-coaster of adoption. I know what it’s like to see the agency’s number on your phone and your heart literally skip a beat. I understand the anxiety of knowing your profile book is out there and maybe this time will be different. I am familiar with the immediate grief that engulfs you once you know another couple has been selected. I wish I could tell you it gets easier, but I can tell you it does get better! When the time is right, when it is meant to be, you will hold your little bundle and forget about all the tears, all the heartache, all the sleepless nights. Although there will be more sleepless nights to come… who knew the sounds of little cries could be so wonderful… :) Keep persevering. Keep your head up. Keep smiling.

  4. I love your positive blog. I'm a glass half full kind of girl, and when trying to adopt you have to be that way as your heart gets put through the ringer time and time again. We've adopted two boys now, and been rejected two other times, so I know the feeling of both sides. Your day is going to come so just focus on that! You guys are doing awesome! Check out my blog to read about all our adoption experiences! Good luck!