Sunday, September 1, 2013

What We Want...

If there's anything I've learned about adoption since beginning our process, it's that our eventual joy - the thing we want most - does not come without a significant sacrifice on behalf of someone who most likely will only know us through a letter, a 20 page picture book and maybe a few meetings and text messages if we're lucky.  I can not express how much this fact presses on my heart, and how much love and respect I already have for our future birth mother.

I also realize that the day we start our family will be one of the happiest of our lives, but while we celebrate many of those close to us will still be wishing for the same exact moment in their lives.  I've been there, and I know how it feels.  I also know that my acknowledging the fact that it basically sucks (for lack of a better term) doesn't make anyone feel better, but for what it's worth you are in my thoughts and prayers constantly.

And I have learned that in the adoption community, especially the virtual one, there are lots of opinions and feelings.  Sometimes those opinions come out in not such a nice way due to so many intense feelings and the ability to hide behind a keyboard.  I realize that everyone handles their adoption updates differently, and I hope that I am not hated for keeping a relatively open account of our adoption on this blog.  I am often intimidated by comments I read on certain message boards and by the eloquent writing of other adoption bloggers.  I know my posts are not very sophisticated, but I think they express my feelings OK and I hope that someone out there finds them helpful in their own adoption research.

Because of these reasons and so many more, this update is definitely a bittersweet (and a little scary) one for me to write...

Nate and I are overjoyed to announce that as of 8/11/13 we are officially matched!  The expectant mother who has lovingly and courageously chosen us is relatively local - about a 2 hour drive from us - and is due in January.  We are so thankful that she has invited us to attend her next doctor appointment with her, and we're hoping to learn the gender at that time.

I've not decided what other details to share.  After all, most of the details still belong to an expectant mother and her unborn child at this time.  They aren't really ours to share just yet.  And after everything is finalized (God willing) some of the details will still belong to our future child.  Obviously as an infant, the child won't mind be aware of my sharing his or her every accomplishment on the world wide web, but one day that child will be an adult with his or her own life and that adult may want to lead a more private life than that.  Long story short, we're still sorting out what to share and how to share it.

I did write some "in-the-moment" posts as we received "The Call," had "The Meeting," and started the process of being matched.  I've post dated them to reflect the date that they were actually written, and I'll be posting them here for you all.  I've also updated our timeline, which I'm glad to hear has become a useful tool for others considering adoption - that was my intent in creating it as I was looking for (and didn't find) something similar when we started our research.

To wrap this up, Nate and I are obviously ecstatic!  We know we have a long and emotional road ahead, but we hope that our friends and families can join in our excitement.  We also hope that everyone can understand that certain details are sensitive and need to be handled with respect.  If we don't answer your questions (especially online) it's not because we're trying to be rude - we're just trying to respect everyone's right to privacy and discretion.  We realize that our news impacts each of you differently, and we wish only the best for each and every one of you.

3 comments:

  1. Congratulations!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Best of luck! Please keep us updated!!!

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  2. Congratulations! What a perfect first post to read in the "best of" blogs! Awww, so exciting! All the best to you and your husband as you prepare for baby!

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