Sunday, May 18, 2014

4 Months... What?!

Oh those facial expressions... This little four month old (as of last Monday, anyway) is getting quite the personality.  Can we say attitude?

I feel like I JUST posted her three month update, and now another month has come and gone.  What the heck?!  Well... part of that could be because her three month update was a tad late.  But, what can you do?

We were at the doctor yesterday for her four month checkup and shots.  She is:

Weight: 14 pounds 10 ounces (58%) {up from 11 lb 7.4 oz (51%) two months ago}
Height: 24.21 inches long (36%) {up from 22.17 inches (34%) two months ago}
Head Circumference: 15.94 inches (45%) {up from 15.04 inches (45%) two months ago}

The doctor said she's doing great!

Her likes and dislikes are staying pretty much the same lately, but she is learning some new things.  She's finally tall enough for the exersaucer, which is a blessing because she's really starting to get tired of the bouncer.  I can put her in the exersaucer (for now) while I'm trying to do laundry or clean, and she keeps herself entertained!
She's also been grabbing and holding toys for quite a while.  Now everything goes right to her mouth.  If what she's holding doesn't fit in her mouth, she is very vocal about how unimpressed she is.
And the most exciting thing (for me, anyway) is that I think her curls are officially here to stay!  She is losing quite a lot of hair in the back and on the sides right now, which makes me sad but the hair she does have will no longer stay straight.  It's so cute!  Not to mention her awesome tummy time skills.  She's rolling over from tummy to back consistently, and trying like heck to go from back to tummy.
Since my last update, we haven't really been up to much.  We had a visit from our friends who also have two little ones, and it was so fun to see K playing with another baby.  Our friends' youngest son is only six months older than K, so they hit it off right away.  We've had other babies over since K was born, but she's just now getting to the age where she actually interacts. So fun!

She got to go to the car dealership with me one rainy afternoon when my sun roof decided it didn't want to close, and we had our fifth home visit.

Our visits are normally right around K's bed time, so she slept through most of it.  She missed all the excitement of pre-finalization paperwork.  It's so exciting to be starting the finalization process, and it's hard to believe that we're this close!  Really, all we did differently at this home visit than at others was have our social worker revisit some questions we answered in the beginning of the process.  Just to make sure everything is still up to date.  Nothing major on our end.  I dropped off our final payment at the agency a couple of days later, and mailed our check to the attorney.  Hopefully we have everything taken care of, and we'll hit no delays in finalizing K's adoption in court!

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Friday, May 16, 2014

First Visit

I know... I know!  Three weeks have already passed since my last post, and I promised to update about our first post placement visit with Miss K's birth mom.  It's crazy how time seems to slip away now that K is home.  I apologize for the delay, but I have no excuses.  Without further ado, here's the update!

J had mentioned a few times, toward the end of March that she was feeling ready or our first post placement visit, but that she was waiting until she was able to get adult day care set up for a family member who she is caring for.  We found out on Good Friday, April 11th that day care was going well and we scheduled our first visit for two Fridays later - the 25th!

Over the next two weeks we texted back and forth about what we should do and where we should go.  The weather was supposed to be nice, and day care started at 10:00.  We planned to pick J up at 11:00, get lunch and figure out the rest of the plan on the fly.  We weren't sure if K's birth dad would be able to join us, and J mentioned that K's birth grandpa may want to come  too.  We'd met both of them already, so the more the merrier!

I won't lie about the fact that I let myself get very worked up over those two weeks.  I was SO excited to see J again and for her to be able to see how well K is doing.  I looked forward to seeing J's son, and how much he's grown since we met.  I also became more and more nervous as the day drew nearer.  I really don't know where the nerves were coming from - we'd spent so much time with J before K's birth, and we've always gotten along.  I know I was feeling afraid and a little sad that I would feel like I took J's baby from her.  The last time we had seen her was when she was discharged from the hospital, and emotions were (understandably) high.  I didn't want to see J hurting again, and feared that I would feel like I was the cause of that pain.

There was nothing I could really do about my nerves, and I couldn't predict how our visit would actually go so I just pushed down those feelings and looked forward to our visit.

Nate's brother and our sister-in-law were nice awesome enough to let us borrow their minivan, so we transferred over K's car seat and a car seat for J's son the night before our trip.  Friday morning K got up and ate her usual 6:30 a.m. bottle.  We packed the diaper bag, gave K a bath and got her dressed, packed up the van and hit the road!  The ride is just long enough that we needed to stop and feed K another bottle before we picked up J.  I had purposely left K in a sleeper, because she's still spitting up quite a lot on car rides and I didn't want her in a wet outfit the whole day.  So, after she ate I spread out our travel changing pad in the back of the van, changed her diaper and got her dressed again.  I can't say it was the easiest thing to do, but it was way better than having to use a McDonald's restroom.  Yuck!

We arrived at J's house shortly after 11:00.  She and her son were already waiting outside for us, so they hopped in and we headed to Rooster's, one of J's favorites for lunch.  I so badly wanted to get a photo of the first time K looked at J (post placement, of course), but since we were in the car I really wasn't able to.  It was so sweet to hear J talking to K from the back of the van, though.  My heart swelled at that moment!

After we were settled at the restaurant, I asked J if she'd like to hold K.  Of course, she did!  I snapped some precious photos of them together, and J's son was very interested in this new baby (and her toys!).  The weather ended up being pretty poor that day, and J had something come up that afternoon that she needed to get to.  So we kept our visit short, but sweet!  K's birth dad and grandpa were unable to make it, but they said "next time, for sure!"  So, the four of us just had lunch and sat together at the restaurant for a while.  We were able to talk with J about how she felt things were going, and it seems like she is very happy with the arrangement so far.  That alone makes me feel so happy.

My nerves melted away, there were no tears and I definitely didn't feel like I had taken K away from J (the few times K wanted to cry, J handed her right back to me.  That got some laughs from our table!).  Honestly I felt like we were just meeting up with another friend who wanted to meet the baby.  And really, that's how I view our relationship from here on out.  Yes, K will know her adoption story and she will know who J is, but it really doesn't have to be any more complicated than that.

We are already looking forward to our next visit...

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